Take a minute to think about the above statement truthfully. How often do you think that you are not good enough?
A study done a few years ago showed that over 80% of women felt they were not good enough. Despite the fact that these women were achieving great things, they were more likely to compliment someone else than themselves.
Though this is a shocking statistic, this is not actually a surprise! It’s something that comes up frequently with my coaching clients. Actually, it comes into the conversation more often than you may think!
It’s certainly something I’ve felt at times along my journey both in business and personally. A lot of us have a desire to be, and do, more. Particularly as ambitious and Passionate business owners, or when we ’re juggling several roles.
I like to offer a reframe. Could this be a sign that you’re ready to grow, to expand and improve?I recommend listening inwardly, what does this feeling and this message mean to you? Because feelings are messages from our subconscious mind.
I recommend that you push yourself out of your comfort zone here, and sit with this thought for a while. Can you recall the last time you felt like this? How did this feeling come up for you? Is there something that usually triggers this?
As one client once told me; she had this very thought every time she looked at the perfect world of Instagram.
We are increasingly living our lives online. But we have to remember that what we see displayed on a screen is not always an accurate representation of reality. It can be highly edited and filtered to suit a given purpose.
Are you comparing your life to a snapshot of someone else’s life?
Essentially my client was comparing herself, and her life, to snapshots of a stranger’s life. An image that they chose to share because it looked pretty, or showed a vision of how they wanted their life to be perceived.
Of course, many of these images are curated in some way, after all, who wants to share their dirty laundry on Instagram, or the washing up in the sink? Not many people I am sure! But for my client, by having an unrealistic goal of how she wants her life to look, it was blocking how she actually felt; she was setting herself up to feel not good enough. I helped her to discover the message her subconscious was sending, and it wasn’t in fact about the images on Instagram, it was so much more! She was ready to grow, and do more, and it was time to look at what it was she really wanted, so she could get clear and start to make that happen.
Feeling ‘not good enough’ is a universal emotion, as are all emotions. It’s the meaning that we give to things, and the stories we tell ourselves that create these emotions. If you tell yourself you are not good enough often, then you’re going to end up feeling as though you’re not good enough! No matter how wrong that actually may be in reality.
So, what are you comparing yourself against? What makes you feel not good enough?
When did you last daydream?
I’d really urge you to take time and think about this. Take a few minutes out of your day to daydream. Find a comfortable place to sit and let your thoughts run freely around your goal. Think calmly and clearly about the dream that you are chasing. Ask yourself, What do I really want?
How about breaking it down? How do you feel about setting yourself a target to improve from where you are right now? Would you feel better taking smaller steps towards the dream that you have for the future?
Get measuring your goals
I’ll let you into a coaching secret. If you give yourself small measurable goals, which are moving you forward in the direction of your ultimate goal; then you are much more likely to get to where you ultimately want to be.
Sometimes the very act of sitting with yourself and breaking something down into smaller chunks really does make it achievable.
If this is something that you would like to talk about further, then please get in touch to see how we can work together. I’d love to hear from you.